Couples Therapy: Do You Need It?

Forget the lovey-dovey couples in romantic movies and novels and let’s face reality: it can be very exhausting to maintain a relationship, especially to keep that “love flame” alive. Sometimes, there are battles about more money, better sex, better orgasm or simply a better relationship.

Today, we shall analyze the reasons why couples should seek professional help.

#1. You Fight All the Time

Angry millennial couple arguing shouting blaming each other of problems -  VUE magazine

Let’s start with the most obvious.

Conflicts and disagreements in a relationship are inevitable and instead, if a couple told me that they never fight, then I would be worried. However, when two different individuals are connected, they will not process life in the exact same way and they will bring a combination of different thought patterns and emotional responses. And, often, these disagreements will quickly escalate to fights. And, we all know how it goes:

The typical man, looking away, will say, “If you will only stop being so emotional, critical and dramatic, things will be better.” While, the woman, in tears, exclaims, “Well, if you will talk to me more, tell me what’s really going on and stop walking away from me, I won’t be as angry.”  

However, beneath all those loud fighting (name-calling and yelling) or long silences, they are asking each other some crucial questions such as: Are you there for me? Do my feelings matter to you? Will you reject me if I am not good enough for you?

But, it is often very difficult (very, very difficult) to ask such questions during a fight. It isn’t easy because you need to be more open with each other and learn how to communicate more effectively.

And, only a couples therapy at Holistic Mind & Body Wellness can help you to fight less and love more.

#2. You Feel Like You Are Speaking Different Languages

Pat Gossett, M.A., LPC

Forget about the maddening cycle of criticism (that is, fighting and bickering). Here, I am referring to when you and your partner are not speaking the same language. You think you said and were clean on one thing, while your partner thought he or she heard something else.

Solution: a nice couples therapy that can help you understand the differences in your communication styles.

#3. Everything Your Partner Does Annoys You

Advice for self-isolating couples: Fight to be understood, don't fight to  win | WTOP

However much you love somebody, when you are stuck with that person for a very long period of time, you will find them to be very annoying. (Now, I was referring to the Covid-19 lockdown, but I know many of you thought about that life-long commitment called marriage.)

You can find a few annoyances here and there, but if you keep finding your partner to be very irritating, you should reach out to a professional as soon as possible or else, as claimed by many, “when you start getting annoyed easily with your partner, resentment can creep in very slowly and cause bigger damage to your relationship.”

#4. You Pretend Everything Is Fine

A small fight between couple - Free Image by Akshay Gupta on

When some couples are busy bickering, fighting, throwing things at each other and going through a debilitating hell, others just try to brush things under the rug. You will either try to ignore important couple issues or will try to pretend as if everything is bright and shiny.

However, the most challenging part of all relationships is how many think that if a relationship is not “that bad”, that means it is “pretty good.” Not true at all!

Instead, it will all come back to you like a nightmare and that overwhelming misery will drive you into the ground. If you don’t want to end up being insane, your only escape route is a couples therapy.

#5. You Have Different Views About Money

The Five Financial Fights All Couples Have — And How to Avoid Them

Ask any couple to talk about money and you will find out two things. Those who are brave enough to try talking about it will often end up in an argument, while there are those who will avoid this subject altogether (perhaps because they have not been able to solve their own problems).

When it comes to money or financial matters, you will have one person who usually likes to splurge with the other one, spending money only on necessary things. Couples can also fight about splitting their share of expenses or bicker with one another due to their anxieties of not having enough money.

Only once in a blue moon can a couple resolve their problem on their own. However, often you need someone to empower you to be able to face your emotional and psychological issues head-on. And, Holistic Mind & Body Wellness is the only one that can guide you towards a more loving relationship.



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