Family is an intimate circle. No one likes to tell their family conflicts to their colleagues, friends, or neighbors. Anything that happens at home should stay at home. However, when disputes overwhelm us, we want to share them with others to feel supported. Talking about it with others makes us feel lighter but does not solve the problems. When we return home in the evening, we are again confronted with our loved ones in a more or less violent way. So how can we break this vicious circle of bitterness and blame? How can we avoid or at least reduce controversies? How can we find a compromise? If you often have family problems, the rest of this article may interest you.
Having the Right Mindset
The family is the first institution. It comes before business, religious associations, neighborhoods, and other formal or informal groups of people. Family conflicts are situations not to be taken lightly. You can change your friends, change your colleagues (by changing jobs), but you can’t change your family. Your little brother will remain your little brother. The same goes for your children and your parents.
To adopt the right mindset, consider that your family members will always be there, no matter what you do or what you go through. There is no need to put down others or speak ill of others. Conflicts are inevitable, but you need to keep your cool. If you get into an argument with a family member, go to a quiet room and take time to calm down. Then take a piece of paper and write down all the positive things you notice about that person. This may seem like a silly exercise, but it will help in future conflicts. Then think about forgiving the person without necessarily approaching them if your ego gets in the way.
In the family, everything can be forgiven. One person’s character does not have to be the other’s burden. Everyone completes each other. Tolerance, understanding, and patience are, therefore, the keywords.
Cards on the Table
In the family, we always have the chance to settle disputes “on the table”, a privileged situation that is quite rare in other forms of institutions. During dinner, you can take to the table what’s wrong and what’s eating you up inside. The “card on the table” consists of resolving problems face to face, without restraint. The goal is not to be stubborn and forceful but rather to re-establish a dialogue to prevent the disagreement from happening again. Do not leave the table until the concern is resolved! Compassion, cohesion, and forgiveness are, therefore, the keywords.
Family Harmony, Another Mindset
Blood ties still do not mean that there is harmony in the home. Conflict being a normal situation, managing emotions has become mandatory. As mentioned above, you have to look on the bright side. A strict mother wants to protect her children from possible dangers; a violent son expresses his lack of affection through aggression; a teenager in puberty rebels because it is the natural order of things, etc. Everyone has their reasons, and no one can deny it. No one should be judged without knowing their convictions and inner wounds. To ensure family harmony, sincerity, kindness, and love are the keywords. Moreover, you can organize such family activities of your choice.