After a few years of marriage, you and your spouse keep arguing. You are considering getting a divorce because you feel you can’t take all the fighting anymore. However, divorce is a difficult step for both partners. And this kind of decision cannot be made on the spot, it usually takes a lot of time to think, talk, and try to solve the problems. What are the crucial question to ask yourself before thinking about a divorce? In this article, we list some of them to make it a bit easier for you.
1. Do You Still Love Each Other?
Even if the answer is yes, divorce may still be the right solution. There are many reasons why people choose to be different, but our emotions don’t have an on/off switch. Sometimes we are so angry that we want a divorce, even though we feel love, but we are afraid of being hurt, unloved or unappreciated again. Ask yourself which is stronger: the feeling of love or the resentment. Will you be able to live with constant resentment or will you be able to forgive?
2. Did You Have Common Expectations With Your Spouse?
Sometimes the problem can be very simple: the partners did not listen and understand each other’s expectations. A woman imagines that the man should do one thing and the man thinks completely differently. If a woman expects a man to participate in the financial management of the family when he doesn’t want to, problems and arguments can arise. So ask yourself if you have clarified each other’s expectations and if you have not imposed certain things that are causing the strikes.
3. Have You Talked Openly?
On one side of the paper, write what you should do to save the marriage, and on the other side, write what your spouse should do. Then discuss it. It is important that both partners do this exercise-game.
You think you’ve said all the things you don’t like, would like to say, and are missing, but your partner still hasn’t heard you? So you think the only way out is to make a difference. But have you really spoken in a way that your other half can really hear and understand you? Studies show that people only hear 30-35% of what they are told. If, for example, you feel that your partner is not paying as much attention to you as you would like, that he or she is not able to spend quality time with you, perhaps he or she is simply not hearing your request, or perhaps you are formulating it incorrectly?
If you really want to know everything, speak openly and without hesitation with your partner: express your fears, your expectations, your hopes. Sometimes, after expressing all the sorrows that lie deep in your heart, everything seems to be resolved. And even if you can’t save the relationship, at least you’ll know that you’ve done all you can.
4. Will You Really Be Happier Without Your Partner?
People who want to be different and are determined to do so are usually angry with each other and hyperbolize certain things. To assess the situation, you need to take a step back and look objectively. Maybe your partner isn’t as sexually interested in you as he used to be, but his communication skills, willingness to help with daily tasks, or cooperation outweigh the negative aspects? Calm down and try to imagine how you will feel when you are alone, will you really feel happiness or, on the contrary, emptiness? Decide what is most important in life and relationships, what marriage should really be, and you may find a compromise.
5. How Can You Reduce the Harm to Your Children?
If you no longer see a future together, divorce is the best thing to do. However, it will undoubtedly have an impact on your children. You’ll certainly need to think about how you’re going to announce this step to the little ones, and then how you plan to communicate fully and with whom the children will grow up. This is probably the most painful thing, so think about it very responsibly.
Have you come to the conclusion that you still want a divorce and need people to handle your divorce papers? Contact Centurion Process Servers you can help you file all the necessary documents.