Having Difficulty to Find a Partner? Here’s Why (Part One)

Many people find it very difficult to find a partner. Human beings are social animals by nature, we have an innate need to be accompanied by other people and to establish social and emotional bonds. This also applies to the emotional sphere, which means that we have the need to love and be loved. Thus, although not all people have the same emotional needs, we generally tend to seek affection.

Having a partner is also an option that goes beyond purely emotional needs. It is a kind of social convention, and sometimes even an instrumental solution; in this sense, it is not uncommon for couples to form for convenience, whether or not there is love between them. These relationships are often based on the fear of loneliness, economic convenience or any other reason.

Thus, although there are exceptions, most people feel the need to establish a romantic relationship. As a result, some people may feel frustrated when they can’t find someone. As this is a very intimate emotional area, this situation can lead to a great deal of discomfort; the inability to find a partner can be linked, as a cause or consequence, to problems of self-esteem, insecurity, depression, etc.

The difficulty in finding a partner is a problem that affects more people than we think. There are many people who, in one way or another, are frustrated by their inability to find someone. However, this difficulty in finding a partner is often due to attitudes that, consciously or not, these people develop. And, in today’s article, that’s exactly what we are going to uncover! Keep reading!

Why Do You Have Difficulty Finding a Partner?

Paradoxically, in an increasingly interconnected world where we have more and more ease in meeting and relating with all kinds of people, the difficulty in finding a partner is an increasingly common problem. The problem is not the number of people we connect with, but rather the way we develop these relationships, the type of attitudes we adopt in our social interactions.

Logically, a problem as complex as difficulty finding a partner does not have a single cause. There are many factors that may be at the root of this situation, but they can be grouped into two broad categories. Firstly, we could identify behavioral problems, i.e. related to the way we behave; on the other hand, we would talk about a second category, emotional problems, related to how we feel.

Behavioral Problems

  • Not devoting time: finding a partner, like everything in life, establishing a relationship requires time and effort. It is easy to say that it is difficult to find a partner, if you do not put in a minimum of effort. Going out to meet people, or frequenting environments where you can befriend single people, even though it may seem obvious, is a first step; of course, what is clear is that you will not find a partner if you stay locked in your room.
  • Lack of social skills: such as shyness or poor communication skills. An important part of seduction is showing the world your best side, so people who withdraw or avoid contact with others have more difficulty finding a partner.
  • Having an intolerant or inflexible attitude: this is a more common problem than you might think. Some people have no difficulty in seducing, but are unable to accept their potential partners as they are. For example, no one wants to be with a rigid partner who tells them what to do or how to act.
  • Have a distrustful attitude: either because of their own personality or because of previous experiences. Starting a relationship always involves finding out what a person is like, and our assumptions may or may not be correct. Either way, it is an unavoidable risk; if you think everything will go wrong or that you will be cheated, you may never be able to have a relationship.
  • Having wrong beliefs about what love is: Sometimes we simply have unrealistic expectations. It doesn’t make sense to expect your partner to be perfect, and you can’t live in a state of permanent infatuation either. Relationships, like any human interaction, also involve disappointment and suffering.

Do you see yourself in some of those problems? Now you know what you need to start changing to find a partner. And if you want to learn more how emotional problems can be the cause, come back later to check out the second part of this article. Until then, what have you’ve decided to change so far? Share your thoughts in the comments below!

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