If I had to rate a heartbreak on a scale of 1 to 10, I’d say a broken heart gets a solid 10 +.
At some point in our life, most of us must have gone through that universal experience that can leave us with a devastated heart, complicated grief, emotional anguish and lots of distress. And, guess what, sometimes a job loss or losing a close friend can not even come close to the pain of an ended relationship (Honestly, it would have been less painful if you’d stabbed yourself with a scalpel.)
No matter what you try to do, breakups are never easy.
Oh and movies and books don’t make it easy either. Trust me, don’t believe that you can easily bounce back after a broken heart. Those happy endings where you end up back with your beloved or you find someone even better are anything but real. Oops, sorry, that sucker punch was not intentional.
You see, there is no specific time frame to get over a breakup. It might take a few months for some while years for others. So, there’s no need to compare your story with others (or even mine). The only best thing I can do to help you (and myself) is to give you the following tips suggested by heartbreak experts.
#1. Embrace Your Heartbreak Emotions
When somebody breaks up with you, you will be tempted to ignore the heartbreak, numbing the pain with one-night stands or gallons of ice creams (I swear they have the same satisfying effect). But, believe me, blinding yourself and hardening your heart won’t do much good in the long run. Don’t run from your emotions – whether it’s anger, denial, sadness or resentment – but instead be really gentle with them.
#2. Take Your Time to Grieve
Trying to find a new partner right way will only trigger more grief and revive the trauma from your past loss.
Again, don’t run from your heartbreak, but learn to accept it and give yourself time to go through the feelings of sadness. You need time to repair what’s been broken and to heal what’s been infected but no one knows how much time will it take.
I also suggest taking some time to be alone, consult your close friends and if required, see a therapist.
#3. Don’t Let Your Emotions Control You
You should embrace your emotions but should never let them rule you.
If you let yourself dwell on too many negative thoughts for too much time, chances are you might trigger some serious physical illness.
Here’s what most experts recommend: If you want to grieve, do so for a certain amount of time only. Say you scream, curse or cry for an hour. During that one hour, you need to let the maximum of your emotions out and once the 60 minutes are up, stop and go back to normal mode.
#4. Do Appreciate the Good Memories
I know some like to avoid this step, but no matter how much you try, at some point, you will look back and think of those pretty bouquets, huge boxes of chocolates, sweet conversations, cute fights, and a slew of passionate love confessions bursting off your phone screen.
Don’t blame yourself and don’t deny this need. It’s completely normal to miss all the good things you shared with your ex (without forgetting the love).
However, you need to draw the line, not letting yourself be overwhelmed with the empty space or lack of love. Ditch the resentment and hold on to the good things.
Forget your past and move on.
It’s easier said than done. Getting over a heartbreak is a very complicated process. But, if you don’t want to dwell in the past any longer, I suggest coming back for part 2.