Ladies, this might be a hard pill to swallow, but your failed relationships are usually your own fault.
You might want a happily ever after, but sometimes the little things you do, some of which you might not even be aware of, that can cause irreparable harm to your relationship with your partner. Yes, we know that for a healthy and a happy relationship, both partners have to work towards it equally. But, there are certain things that women can keep in check from their end, to ensure that they do not ruin their relationship.
So, here are some of the things that women do that invariably destroy their relationships. And, also some tips that can be used to save a relationship.
1. Finding faults all the time
Constructive criticism, if it is meant to improve the relationship, is welcome. But, if you are always obsessing over the imperfections of your partner, then you are asking for trouble. Chronic complaining tells your partner that you are not happy with him, and he is not good enough. You might not actually feel this way, but this is the message you convey when you are constantly nit-picking on his small habits. What is even worse is when you do so in company of your family and friends.
Healthy relationship secret: The sooner you accept that your partner is after all just another human being with his share of the good and the quirky, the better for your relationship. After all, no human being is perfect, including you!
2. Not appreciating him enough
Lack of appreciation is often one of the major causes of resentment in a relationship. It is easy to take your partner for granted. If your partner is doing something special to make you happy, and if you fail to see his efforts and quibble on small things, then it will ruin his mood and ultimately your relationship too!
Healthy relationship secret: Well, men are not too different from you when it comes to compliments and appreciation. Stop for a moment and acknowledge the efforts of your partner and let him know you notice them. A quick note of appreciation, a hug or a kiss can do wonders to your relationship.
3. Having unreasonable expectations
Expecting the partner to do things that are currently beyond his capacity is the bane of every relationship. Putting pressure on him for things that you yourself know might not be reasonable for him to commit to is a smart way to erode your relationship slowly and steadily. Say, if you want to buy a bigger house or start a family, but your husband is not in a financial or mental state to commit to such a change. Instead of criticising him, try to understand his point of view.
Healthy relationship secret: Yes, be less demanding and reasonable in what you want, because pushing someone to give more than what he can at the moment, will only push him away.
4. Not nourishing your bond
You are aware of how important it is to connect with your partner on a daily basis, but it is easy to forget when there are kids, career, and chores to manage. Keep in mind, physical and emotional shut down often leads to a big lack of intimacy. Withholding affection from your partner can cause a major disconnect that will be hard to bridge.
Healthy relationship secret: Just as you want your man to take time out and do something special and intimate for you, you should do the same. Consciously take out time to be with your partner, and give it top priority if you love your relationship.
5. Putting others before him
When you’re in a relationship, you might have a new family to interact with as well. While you need not break all ties with your own family and friends, understand that these new relationships are important as well. If you are always putting your family or friends before him or his family, he might not like it.
Healthy relationship secret: It is ok to maintain a healthy contact with your own family and friends even after relationship, and expecting your partner to respect that. But, instead of ‘mine’ and ‘yours’, think of it as ‘ours’!
6. Giving the silent treatment
So, do you always keep your feelings pent-up and wait for him to figure out what is wrong? Well, that is what is actually wrong! He is not an expert who can figure things out on his own based on your expressions and mood. By keeping quiet or closing communication, you won’t solve any problems or resolve any issues. What’s more? Your attitude might push him further away from the issue and the relationship.
Healthy relationship secret: If you wish to say something to him or if you are hurt about something, then instead of waiting for him to figure things out on his own, talk to him. Men might not be too emotionally open themselves, but being passive aggressive is not the way to deal with them either.
7. Not giving him space
It is a well-known fact that men truly love their space and freedom, and this is one of the main reasons why they can appear to be commitment-phobic. Calling him up every single hour, getting jealous unnecessarily, forcing him to always cancel plans with his friends: these are all things that women believe are suitable things to impose on their partner, when in reality are more than likely to make him run in the opposite direction.
Healthy relationship secret: It is okay to be possessive sometimes, but not all the time. Most men want their women to have a life outside the relationship as well. And, they want their women to respect their personal space and social group.
If you are guilty of any of these behaviours, you are putting your relationship at great risk. We all know that every relationship has to go through its fair share of ups and downs. But, when you keep certain emotions and behaviour in check, you’ll find that your relationship will flourish.