Just because you know some long-distance relationships that have failed does not mean all long-distance relationships will.
Now, I’m not saying it will be super-duper easy, but here are some tips that will help you make your long-distance relationship work.
#1. See It as an Opportunity
Once, someone very wise said, if you want to live together, first you need to learn how to live apart.
I have a special preference for Chinese sayings and one of them goes like this, “Real gold is not afraid of the test of fire.”
When one is living in Canada while the other is in Australia, do not think that this significant distance will pull you two apart. Instead, I’ll ask you to be positive and think about the interesting twist this geographical separation can bring to your romantic relationship.
See it as a privilege and a valuable journey that will test the authenticity of your love, commitment and sacrifice. See it as a unique opportunity that will strengthen your confidence in each other.
#2. Set Some Clear Ground Rules to Manage Your Expectations
One of the main reasons why most long-distance relationships fail is because both partners have different expectations, for example, on the frequency of phone calls, but they still assume they are on the same page.
It is essential to have a direct conversation so as both of you can be clear with what to expect during this long-distance relationship.
For instance, talk and establish about the ground rules that none of you has the right to go on dates with other people. It is also good to know how much contact you want to have with your partner per day.
#3. Share Your Calendars
When you have different work or university schedules or even different time zones, it makes it even more difficult to make time for communicating with each other. Unless you settle on a proper pattern and create a shared calendar to make you more connected with each other, this difference in schedules can wreak havoc in your relationship.
Ask yourselves these questions that might help you establish that pattern:
- Who has the most flexible schedule?
- Do you prefer day or night communication?
- Who should always initiate the contact?
- When exactly can you dedicate unrushed time to conversations?
#4. Honor Each Other’s Time
In a long-distance relationship, tension runs deeper when you have scheduled and agreed on date but didn’t honor it.
Honestly, for me, no matter what the reason, that’s the worst.
I get that you have specific goals to achieve, but taking your partner and that long-scheduled video call for granted is just not done.
You might be miles apart, but even then every partner wants to feel respected and appreciated.
#5. Express Your Longing
The real and constructive reason couples communicate is to provide their partners with a sense of belonging and connectedness and to make them feel important.
The extra distance makes your heart grow fonder and then the best way to tell your partner how much you’ve missed them is by expressing that ache and putting it in words. Do not be shy to express your feelings and let them hear how much they are valued.
#6. Avoid Excessive Communication
In a long-distance relationship, it is very easy to fall into that vulnerable routine of “how was your day, what happened today, miss you and goodnight.”
Most couples think that when they are communicating with each other 12 or more hours a day, they are compensating for the distance. So wrong!
Doing things might actually make things worse. When you are being overly “sticky”, you would eventually get tired of this “lovey-dovey” game.
So, here less is definitely more!
#7. Talk Dirty With Each Other
Another way to keep your long-distance relationship thriving is to cultivate the erotic spark.
Sexual tension doesn’t understand geographical distance and the only way to fulfill that desire is by sending flirty messages loaded with sexual innuendos, scheduling video chat sex dates and sending weekly nudes to your partner.
Now, if things do get complicated and you end up with a broken heart, well, no need to dwell on it, my friend. Instead, please take it as a valuable learning experience of life and move on.