How to Keep the Flame Alive in Your Relationship?

Relationships are works in progress. Hopefully, that doesn’t surprise you. Of course, it is understood that partners should know each other well before they settle down together but it should never stop there. People in an intimate, long-term relationship need to continuously work on the relationship to accommodate the numerous changes that occur during a lifetime.

Life is full of ups and downs. Of course, we love our partner and we are sure they know it but every so often, we get caught up in our everyday lives, especially when there are other people that need our attention, like children. In these instances, we can sometimes forget to make intimate time for our significant other. It is essential to find ways to keep the spark alive, to remember what brought you together in the first place.

So, here are a few ways to keep the flame alive in your relationship.

Make Date Night a Thing

Early in your relationship, you probably went on tons of dates, but some couples tend to go on dates less and less as the years go by. It is recommended to have a date night once a week, especially if you have children, in order to keep the romance in your relationship alive.

A study by the Marriage Foundation found that couples who have a date night once a month may be 14% less likely to break up.

Initiate Intimacy

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It is vital to make your partner feel desirable. Unfortunately, some people have difficulty initiating physical affection and intimacy with their parents either because of unresolved anger or fear of rejection. The problem here is that this prevents them from putting energy and effort into this critical area of their partnership. You want to keep the relationship “alive” by making sure you are attracted to them and want to feel close and connected.

Make a Change Instead of Hoping That Your Partner Will

If you want your partner to say or do more romantic things, it can feel like nagging if you are constantly asking them to give you more. Instead of asking all the time, think of how much more you could be giving to your partner. When you are with the right person, they will notice of your extra effort and feel inspired to give some extra effort back. Be generous with affection and if you love them unconditionally, prove it.

If all else fails, think back on the behavior you both had at the beginning of your relationship. Think about how you thought of them, how you treated them, how much you wanted to make them happy. If you act like it is the beginning, maybe it will never have an end.

Don’t Blame Your Partner

Frustration begins to fester when your physical and emotional needs are not met. Instead of working together as a team to discover what lies at the heart of intimacy issues, destructive emotions such as blame and guilt hurt the relationship. It is easier to point the finger at your partner rather than question how you contribute to the problem. When you start blaming each other, reclaiming your passion for one another becomes even more challenging. Remember, intimacy is a collective experience shared by partners, not individuals.


Plan time to disconnect from devices of all kinds and social media. Make special time away from everything and everyone else, so that nothing interrupts intimacy. Certainly unplug on vacation but make sure that your time together during meals at the end of the day or whenever you have decided you need time to talk and communicate is without interruption and disturbance. Don’t let anything distract you from being totally present.

The most important thing is never to take your partner or your relationship for granted. Although you may not feel the rush of love and excitement you once felt when you first met your partner and began dating, finding ways to keep the flame alive is crucial.

In the comment section below, let us know how you maintain the flame in your relationship.

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