I don’t get it. How come we fought again when we just had a fight a few hours ago?
Did you come to a point in your relationship when you ask yourself, “how did we get here?” or “is this relationship going to work?”
If yes, I guess going over these signs might help you know where your relationship stands truly.
#1. Shallow Foundations
One thing I’ve always noticed is far too many individuals jumping into relationships with a sudden feeling of strong attraction, only to be left confused, heartbroken and devastated.
If you think about it with a cool mind, it will take time, I’d say it can take a lot of time, to get to know someone well enough to establish a meaningful relationship. But, sadly, many people, if not all, get pushed into a relationship, mistaking a rushed emotion, an urgent desire, an addicted passion or intense lust for the feeling of love.
And, each time, it’s practically the same: “No one, absolutely no one has ever made me feel so special” or “There’s an amazing chemistry between us.”
Pal, most ‘relationships’ start this way. Most people don’t fall in love but fall in ditches.
The same goes for teenage love, which at first glance and meeting seems to burn with hot flames, but in the end, all that remains is some ashes of that supposedly fierce flame and an unquenchable heartbreak.
I guess someone very wise said, “first love is only a little foolishness and a lot of curiosity.”
Love is the fundamental foundation of a strong relationship that’s based on giving, while lust is the start of a twisted and greedy bond that can’t wait to appease its appetite.
What happens when you fall into that “fake” relationship:
- You keep on making promises you know you won’t keep.
- You create expectations you won’t fulfill.
- You start losing interest quickly.
- You don’t feel any obligation, to be honest and sincere.
- After sex, you don’t want even want to see the face of your partner.
At some point, this resentment will make you realize there’s no such thing as “love at first sight” or “amazing chemistry,” and there’s nothing worth saving in this relationship.
So, ask yourself, is it love or lust you’re experiencing?
#2. There’s Too Much Baggage
Let’s face it: we’ve all had our fair share of dating and heartbreak experiences, but still some of us carry way too much past luggage that eventually throws off the whole relationship.
Some might carry only one or two bags of bitterness while others hold on to six to seven baggage of pain and sadness.
See, I understand that you’ve just moved out of a major relationship, your 7-years of marriage just blew up or your ex cheated on you (and it’s even worse when it’s with one of your friends).
But, not moving on from your past and bringing these ashes to your new relationship might make things worse.
Now, let me clarify: I’m not blaming you for carrying your past mistakes, experiences and memories. Instead, feeling as such is a sign of being human and alive.
However, when the emotional load becomes way too heavy for you to handle it alone, you start blaming your partner, bringing along with you too many fights, bitter arguments and hatred.
#3. You Become Intolerant to Flaws
Ok, let’s be honest here: who don’t have flaws?
It’s in human nature to be flawed. It’s completely natural, so much natural that I’d say it’s a norm to be flawed.
See, I’m not justifying the myth that flawed people cannot have successful relationships.
My saying on this is is that if true love – not to be confused with lust, infatuation or just any other attraction of some sort – is the foundation of your relationship, you will be able to accept and deal more easily the flaws each of you exhibit.
But, the moment your partner’s flaws, from the smallest to the biggest ones, start irritating the crap out of you, you know it’s an early sign that there’s nothing positive that will come out from ignoring this.
How to know if there’s a real problem in your relationship and not just your mood swings?
- Your partner’s flaws start being the reason for your fights.
- No matter what your partner does, you find it annoying.
- You no longer see that same sweetness and cuteness in the small flaws that first attracted you to your partner.
Growing up, one thing I’ve learned is that out of all relationships, love ones are the most complicated ones to maintain. There are no blood ties to hold you back, only that one thread called love.