The leading causes of divorce are very varied. However, most of them have to do with covenants that are broken. Many of these pacts are made early in the relationship, although it is not always made explicit. Along the way, one of the two is unable to do their part. Beyond the definition of the leading causes of divorce, what usually prevails is the difficulty in handling conflicts. It is usual for the couple to have disagreements and problems, but these become unsolvable and painful when they are not managed serenely and maturely. Relationship problems also have a lot to do with communication. Sometimes it is not possible to ask for what you want in the right way. Likewise, many times they turn a deaf ear to the demand of the other. This element is implicit in several of the main causes of divorce. Let’s look at the seven most frequent.
#1. Lack of Commitment
One of the main causes of divorce is the lack of emotional commitment to the other. Sometimes there is no time, or there is simply no willingness to meet the expectations or needs of the couple. It is overlooked, it is not included in the plans, or not given space to the relationship. That is often the result of deeper realities. It happens when the relationship is assumed exclusively from the emotional point of view. For the couple to function, rationality and decision-making are required since affections are unstable and tend to transform over time.
#2. Continual Aggressiveness
In this case, the emotions are on the surface and are kept alive, but in the wrong way. Continual aggressiveness speaks of unsolved problems in the couple. Continual anger is a manifestation of frustration, dissatisfaction, resentment, or rejection. It remains in force because the way to get to the bottom of what is happening has not been found. It also happens that one of the members of the couple has difficulties with himself and turns the other into the “sparring” of his disagreement. With continuous attacks, the ability to speak is undermined, and when this happens, the problem is prolonged and intensified. Little by little, only the raw wounds and a chain of resentment remain that can no longer be undone.
Infidelity is another leading cause of divorce. It is one of those cases in which a pact, implicit or explicit, is broken within the couple. Sometimes this fact seals the end of a relationship that was already significantly deteriorated, while in other cases, it corresponds to a lightness that ends up having severe consequences. Some relationships resist infidelity, while in others, it becomes an insult that is impossible to overcome. Usually, the lie is more painful for the deceived person than the infidelity itself. What is broken here is trust, and without it, it is impossible to move on.
#4. Expectations Disappointed
Few couples come together based on unrealistic or very high expectations in the face of the relationship and the coexistence itself. Living together implies a change in lifestyle, which includes rewards but also resignations and difficulties. You both must have a willingness to adapt. As compatible as they are, they will not always coincide in the small details of everyday life. Likewise, if the partner is idealized, what follows next is a disappointment. It is essential to know each other well before joining and, if not, be open to adaptation.
#5. Lack of Equity
One of the crucial aspects of the relationship is the reasonable distribution of commitments. Aspects such as financial contributions, housework, childcare, and everything that is common management must be organized to be equitable. One of the leading causes of divorce is the lack of equity in one or more of these aspects. If one of the spouses feels that all the responsibility, in some aspect, falls only on him, indeed he will not be satisfied, mainly if this is not compensated with the release of duties in another element.
Abuse is a particular case, which should always be looked at carefully. It corresponds to cases in which some behaviors exceed the moral limits of the couple’s relationship. This abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual. Those couples in which abuse tend to be reluctant to divorce precisely because the abusive structure generates powerful bonds, even if they are unhealthy. More than one of the main causes of divorce, it should become one of the main reasons.
#7. Financial Difficulties
As you can see, the main reasons for divorce have to do with problems that many couples also overcome, except abuse. Economic difficulties do not have significant weight if the relationship is healthy. On the other hand, when there are problems of another kind, many of them focus on money. The financial aspect can become a means of blackmail, submission, or competition. Sometimes individual frustrations from an unsatisfying life project are also transferred to finances. Be that as it may, both joining and separating are life-changing decisions and should be given the importance and depth they deserve.
Are you involved in a divorce and need some advice? Get in touch with the experts at Steger Law. With over 30 years of industry experience, they’re backed with the necessary skills to educate and represent you regarding your rights, obligations, and options.