Coping with a breakup is definitely NOT easy; nobody has taught us how to do it. However, several aspects are important to consider to put an end to and heal our wounds. Let’s check them out. Don’t forget to check out the first part of this blog for more helpful tips to cope with a breakup.
So, How Does the Person Who Has Decided to End Their Relationship Deal with The Breakup?
This position is not easy since reaching this conclusion usually takes doubts and time. In addition, expressing it to the other person, the one with whom you have had that affection and involvement, is complicated since there is the fear of hurting them. The person who decides to break the bond tends to feel a lot of confusion: “What if I regret it?”, “What if what I do is not correct?” However, there are no right or wrong decisions. The “good” decisions are those that are made being consistent with what you feel and need.
Thus, if at that moment you believe that the decision is beneficial for yourself, it is what counts. We have to prioritize ourselves. In this case, it is also essential to take care of yourself and not blame yourself for not feeling the same as the other person or whatever reason for breaking up. Emotions are not static; they constantly change, just like people and their circumstances. Worse would be to ignore the discomfort, ignore it and continue in a situation that does not generate satisfaction but rather frustration and anxiety.
Top Ways to Deal with a Breakup
These keys serve both the person who has made the decision and the person who has not. These are small tips that facilitate the elaboration of the duel and favor closing the stage that corresponds to that relationship.
- Generate New Memories: A common fear is to anticipate how we will feel on important dates without the partner: birthdays, Christmas, holidays, anniversary … usually, we are sad, the strange thing would be to be well immediately not be going through the grieving process. However, it can be an opportunity to experience those moments in other ways.
- Don’t Accept Advice from Everyone: With the best intention, our loved ones advise us from their point of view, but a breakup is a very subjective process that not all of us live the same, so it is good to listen, but when deciding it is we who have the last word based on our needs. No one knows better than us what is best for us to heal those wounds.
- Spend Some Quality “Me-Time“: To order both thoughts and emotions, we must spend time with ourselves when we need it. If we fill the day with social plans, we may be putting on a patch to avoid suffering … and this does not suit us. It is necessary to go through the phases of anger, sadness, helplessness, and emptiness to reach acceptance. Now, this does not mean isolating yourself, and in addition, it is also advisable not to spend all day thinking about the same thing.
- Be Honest with Yourself: If we want a deep conversation, let’s go with that friend with whom we know we will be able to have it. If, instead, we prefer to disconnect and go for a drink, let’s call that person more fun. What is not recommended is to expose yourself to situations that may be difficult to tolerate.
- Rotate Questions: Instead of asking ourselves, “What is my ex-partner doing? “Better to ask ourselves,” what do I need to do now to be better?”. This aspect is essential because we tend to find out or check if our ex-partner is better or worse without us, but this only hurts us.
We cannot forget that it is time to look for ourselves, our needs, and our new stage of life. The attachments make it cling to the links in excess, and this dependence is generated, which is then difficult for us to heal. Therefore, let us remember that we are independent beings and that if we want to, we can. You have to love yourself a lot. Finally, some time ago I heard a phrase that I liked very much: “Whether you think you can or not, you are right. It all depends on what you believe”.